If you are in the Chicago area and a FRIDA member (or want to be a FRIDA member), the retreat is from 10 am to 5 pm at UIC, 1640 W. Roosevelt Road.  It is a potluck, so if you come, bring food!  To learn more, please contact us through the contact page on this site.

Mr. Dale came to our August monthly meeting and the group discussed topics from health care access to housing.  We discussed the needs of women with disabilities and we look forward to seeing the issues of womyn with disabilities being included in the Obama campaign’s platform.  We definitely plan to continue to provide feedback on women’s disability rights to Mr. Dale to ensure that the Democratic Party candidate plans to take action for change on our issues.

One of our FRIDA members, Aerin Jung, has been heavily involved with the Dyke March and has pushed to have greater accessibility for people with disabilities.  Her activism resulted in several access improvements, including paper fliers with the march chants and accessible bathrooms, an interpreter for the end-of-march festivities in Harrison Park, and plywood boards to place over ruts in the road.  Thank you Aerin and the Dyke March organizers for these improvements!  We also hear that the Dyke March attempted to secure a personal assistant to work the event, but sadly the PAs who were contacted refused to work an event they classified as a “lesbian thing.”  They wanted to work, but not for people who might be queer.  This is a sad snapshot of the need to raise LGBTQ friendliness in the disability community and those who support us, like PAs.

The FRIDAs who did attend, however, had a blast representing for the disability community in support of our LGBTQ members and allies!  Those who attended included Aerin Jung, Axeen, Monica Heffner, Mary Delgado, Dan, Emylee, Nestor, Lluvia and Sol, Maggy Guzzo, Amber Smock and other friends and allies.  This is the first time FRIDA has ever gone and next year, we hope to see many more of our disability rights colleagues at events like these, because in Chicago there is very little to support our LGBTQ friends with disabilities.

Here are some photos from the event (as many as Amber could take before the battery on her camera died).  Descriptions are below each photo.

The Gay Liberation Network shows off its huge blue sign stating that lesbians and gays support immigrant rights.  Pilsen is known for being a center of immigration activism.

The middle “woman” sign on the FRIDA flag gets a wheechair to sit in, courtesy of a friendly parade artist.

People flood in to the bank parking lot at 18th and Halsted.  Sunscreen and umbrellas were out against the sunny day.

As the crowd mills around chatting, Emylee people watches while Monica has an icy treat.  Several paleta cart men were drawn to the event, selling ice cream and popsicles.

Monica and Nestor hold the FRIDA flag while waiting to march.

Marchers mill as they get ready to set off down 18th Street in East Pilsen.

Mary shows off her teal colored queer love sign that someone from the parade drew on her wrist.

Nestor and Maggy hold the FRIDA sign in Pilsen just west of the railroad tracks, with the marchers as a backdrop.  Emylee and Sol are at the right.  Dan is just behind Maggy holding her bike.

Mary and Dan roll in the parade in the foreground.  In the background, Maggy is in the red t-shirt talking to Monica in the brown FRIDA t-shirt.

A view of the hundreds of marchers ahead of us.  We were somewhere at the two-thirds mark.

Nestor and Amber carry the FRIDA sign through Pilsen.  Emylee is just behind Amber’s shoulder.

A nice overhead shot showing Mary and Dan marching, with Maggy and Monica in the background.

Papi Chulo, a drag king from Mexico, performs a song in Spanish at Harrison Park, as neighbors watch from their windows across the street.  The ASL interpreter is in the pink shirt by the speakers.

Dykes on bikes salute the crowd entering Harrison Park by revving their engines—LOUDLY.

We will meet with the rest of the march at 18th and Halsted at 1 pm, and step off to march at 2:30 pm. We will march on 18th Street to Damen (Harrison Park).  There will be live events till 5 pm.  Join us if you can!  Just look for the FRIDA t-shirts. 

Nine FRIDAs from Chicago traveled to Alton for the Dorothy Dixon memorial service at 11 am on May 31.  Afterwards, we walked, rolled and drove in a procession to the home where Dorothy and her unborn child died.  We chanted “What do we want? Justice! When do we want it? Now!” and “Up with respect! Down with abuse!”  The residents of the house joined us in a moment of silence.  We were escorted by patrol cars from the Alton Police.  Thank you officers for keeping us safe!

 We then gathered at IMPACT again for lunch and a break.  Several of us then visited the grounds of the old state hospital at the Alton Mental Health Center.  IMPACT Board member Susan Shobe gave us a tour of the field where state hospital residents were buried.  Security officers from the Department of Human Services joined us.  It was extremely hot but very moving to be able to visit these grounds.  Due to the heat and logistics, some of our group left, but four of us were able to then stop at Mt. Olive to visit the memorial to Mother Jones, the famous labor organizer.

 We really want to thank our friends at IMPACT Inc., for their hard work in making this happen, and also to our friends from Springfield and St. Louis who came out for the day.  About 30 folks showed up to make sure the right thing was done.  It was a really tremendous learning experience and the suggestion was made to have a Dorothy Dixon Memorial Parade every year.  That’s what we are all about—getting busy!  One small drop of water causes a whole lake to ripple.

To read the Alton Telegraph news story, please visit: http://www.thetelegraph.com/news/dixon_14619___article.html/people_group.html.

To see the Alton Telegraph video, please visit: http://www.thetelegraph.com/video/index.php?bcpid=1155236442&bclid=1155106981&bctid=1582123180.

To view some photos of the trip on Flickr, please visit http://www.flickr.com/photos/25181282@N04/sets/72157605386361303/.

To see more detailed comments at our blog, please go to http://fridanow.blogspot.com.

On Saturday, March 29, 2008, FRIDA hosted our first ever Sex and Disability Town Hall meeting.  Overall, about 75 people attended from many different areas of our community.  Thanks to everyone who attended and to those who staffed the event!  Folks had such an eager spirit to learn and the whole setup was done with creative flair (yes, we had penis and vagina cakes).

The morning was devoted to workshops and the afternoon was spent on a speakout forum where community members could have their say.  Workshop topics included sex resources for people with disabilities, psychiatric disabilities and relationships, an LGBTQ forum, and a showing of “Doin’ It: Sex, Video and Disability,” available at http://www.beyondmedia.org/catalogue.html and made by young women with disabilities ages 16 to 24.

Several organizations tabled at our event, including the RIC Domestic Violence Program, the Schwab Rehab AIDS and HIV Prevention Program, Early to Bed, Chicago ADAPT, the Disability Pride Parade, 3E Love, the Chicago Abortion Fund, the UIC Institute on Disability and Human Development, and of course, FRIDA.  Many thanks to those who made donations, including Jimmy John’s for a steep discount on sandwiches!

Overall there was an incredible feeling of sharing and open mindedness about many ways to express sexuality.  We had folks of all ages (from teens to sixties) and all colors of the rainbow too.  Both disabled and nondisabled women attended.  We were all excited to meet new folks from the community and make new friends.

For folks who were unable to attend, guess what?  We took notes and photos!  Below are general notes from the speakout forum and on the following pages you will find pictures from the event.  Keep scrolling to get the long-distance version of the FRIDA spirit!

 The following notes were taken by Jenny Choi.  Thank you Jenny!

How and where can we meet people for dating or relationships without going online?

The Internet can still be a good place to meet people. 

• Safety can be a concern. 
• We need more sites for disabled people. 
• Try to go out more to increase your chances of meeting someone.

Have the inner strength and self confidence to meet people. Try a phone buddy, Access Living, FRIDA (support network)

Defining sex:

• Can be wild or mellow.
• Beautiful.
• From the heart, not looks.

What is a visit to the gynecologist like? 

• The Fe Fes discuss this. 
• It’s a bit intimidating the first time. 
• There is a pelvic/vaginal area exam.
• No needles! Not anything too scary.
• It’s important to have an exam once sexually active to protect your health.

Sex is not just penetration

Different levels of sex for different people

For women who date other women, it can be a hand, a finger, a sex toy etc.

Foreplay is also important.

Definition of sex could be no penetration at all (it doesn’t have to involve a penis).

“Make love to my mind” (by talking)

What is foreplay?

Making love to a woman can be the way you say “good morning.”  Treat her well, etc.

Touch/intimacy is important (a hug, etc).  Skin to skin contact.

Why do people choose celibacy?

• Religion
• Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
• parents’ values/culture
• interest in sex wanes

Why do people make fun of virgins?

• Jealousy by people who regret some choices they’ve made.
• Very few virgins.
• It’s important to respect a person’s choice not to have sex, or to wait to have sex.

Older women can want and enjoy sex.

Sex ed should be more inclusive

• Lack of knowledge
• Schools in general are behind in educating about the disability movement

Sometime a woman with a disability needs to be more forward, etc in approaching people.

• People are tentative if they are unfamiliar with disability culture

Women with disabilities can have one-night stands

• How to deal with self-disclosure on private or personal matters
• You don’t have to self-disclose if you don’t want to
• You can make your own choices

We should have sex because WE want to.

If a man calls you a ‘ho,’ he is insecure.

Safety issues: going out alone (and not with a man)

• Our society has certain expectations on how a man or a woman is supposed to behave.  Challenge those expectations.

Women need to learn to protect each other.

If you have an attitude of dominance, it might help safety issues.

You should be able to have as much sex as you want without judgment.

Be true to yourself.

It’s not anyone’s business who I have sex with, or how many times I have sex.

We should celebrate all of our choices as women.

• We can disagree, but not judge
• Keep negative opinions to oneself
• Maybe organize a group to address these issues (by age, disability…more like a support group)

When is the right time to have sex?

Embace differences, uniqueness.

Men who take out their frustration on women have unhealthy issues (the way they grew up, cultural expectations, etc).

• Avoid people who try to dominate you.
• Women are sometimes afraid of being taken advantage of because of their disability

(more…)

This event will be FRIDAlicious!!!!

Our Town Hall will be from 10 am to 3 pm at Access Living, 115 W. Chicago Avenue, Chicago.  You must RSVP for this event by March 21.  To get and fill out an RSVP form, call Monica at (312) 640-2100 or e-mail Amber at ambity(at)aol.com.  If you are interested in tabling or volunteering, just get in touch by March 21. See you there!